september 20th, 2018.

how to feel motivated

septemeber 20th, 2018.

yesterday i sat down with some new friends and the conversation ended up shifting into me explaining my entire journey with this instagram account, my brand, adidas, my achievements, my set backs, etc…

now, for about a week now my attitude towards a lot of things has been “🙄“ and i’m not trying to be “cool” here or anything like that by saying that… i’ve simply been lacking the motivation to post, the motivation to wake up early, and the motivation to get everything done on my to-do list that i wrote out.

i’ve been feeling incomplete, literally in the sense that i’ve only crossed maybe 2 out of 6 things off my to do list everyday, and incomplete in the sense that i’m at this very weird early 20’s stage of my life where everything is like this: “????

anyway… this isn’t the point.

back to what i was saying about sitting down with friends.

it was one of those conversations where i was telling an elaborate and integrated story about a huge part of my life. my friends were amazed at my accomplishments and everything i have built for myself, and then the conversation ended with me telling them the ??? point i’m at in my life. they all reassured me that i’m driven and motivated and “i’ll be fine”

yes, i’ll be fine.

in the end we’re all fine.

but it’s very annoying to me when i get into these moods where i forget and become… not ungrateful but maybe… blinded to all the blessings, accomplishments, and journeys. it’s like i don’t even have the motivation to look back and put my life into perspective.

wrong, so wrong.

i have built a lot here, i have learned a lot here, i have GROWN so much here. where is my mind?! man, i get so frustrated and then that piles on top of me already being “🙄”… just a bad cycle.

anyway, my point here is that after speaking with my friends i really felt proud. and in so many situations, you really don’t realize how far you’ve come until you sit down for an hour with some wine and pizza and go through your story from DAY ONE.

when you tell a story, it’s important to not only be speaking, but to be observing.

as the words are come out of your mouth, you can internalize people’s fascination and mesmerizing with whatever it is you do.

and listen, you can work a legitmate 9-5 job and can inspire and fascinate a person. i’m not undermining anyone’s story, anyone’s path, or anyone’s “whatever they do” — what i AM trying to say is that regardless of wherever, whatever, WHOever you are… you have value and you have ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

i encourage you to sit down with someone you have been meaning to chat with for awhile and just speak… just exchange stories. LISTEN when the other person is talking… fully committed to the language, emotions and context of their words.

and then i encourage you to SPEAK. explain it ALL, with every context, every detail, and every person who has touched and inspired your journey. there is no sense in undermining your accomplishments.

fate is 100% a thing, BUT i’d say about 80% of your life experiences happen because of the ONE step you took in a certain direction… because of ONE word you spoke… because of ONE email you typed up… because of ONE train ticket you booked.

i have to remind myself that reason why i was sitting in that moment explaining “my story” to my friends, or why i am sitting in front of my laptop writing this blog post right now, is because of every single step before me. the reason why i pride myself in my branding skills is because i simply took a leap one day and started a brand, and i built the brand from nothing. the reason why i have this website you are reading this post on is because one day i sat down and taught myself how to build a website. the reason why i work freelance as a writer is because my brand required a stand-out voice that could be perceived and heard through my writing. practicing my writing everyday on instagram, on my blog, and for other projects here and there has engrained a skill and a love for writing i could never be ungrateful for.

maybe i didn’t get my point across clearly in the previous paragraph, but my point is that every single moment, any chunk of time in my past, and every practice of my skills has pushed me forward. always forward. and in my past there have been similar moments of me feeling unsure and confused. it is normal. it comes, and it goes. i’m sure i, and you, if you are ever going through something similar, will look back on the times we felt unsure… and then we will think of the one step, one interaction, one person, the one thing we did that pushed us forward into the next phase.

it’s funny because there are people you might not consider “close friends” or someone you want to hang out with on a sunday morning… yet every single human you interact with will provide you with some lesson and some insight. without my september 19th, 2018 wine and pizza friends, i would be a couple levels lower than i am right now in my journey. everyday is a stepping stone.

it’s weird because there is sooooo much time ahead… yet also you could die tomorrow. and this isn’t graphic, insensitive or tough. it’s just the damn truth.

if you need help talking something through, need someone to listen, need someone to help you actually get the words out about your journey so that you can recognize your accomplishments, or literally ANYTHING. email me at hello@victoriasquirlock.com

it feels good to write all this out and i thank you, personally, for reading through this blog post.